This week’s Cabinet announcement was a lot like the final season of Game of Thrones.
We had to wait an unbearably long time for it to be screened.
A good few cast members got killed off.
And there were plenty of shocks and disappointments.
But the biggest bombshell of them all - not even George RR Martin could have scripted this - was the appointment of Patricia de Lille, nogal as Minister of Public Works and Infrastructure (a new combined portfolio, by the way).
Congratulations are in order. Wow, what a story, hey?
To think, just six months ago, Aunty Pat didn’t have a job or a party (only three dragon’s eggs;)
And today she is the leader of the Good party, and an honourable minister.
Take that, DA!
One wonders how it came about that President Cyril Ramaphosa offered her the job.
Could it be a case of an enemy of my enemy (the DA) being a friend?
Was it De Lille’s radical position on land restitution, reversing apartheid spatial planning and making state land available for affordable housing - which put her at loggerheads with the DA - that caught the president’s eye?
Or maybe he needed a taai coloured tannie on the ANC’s side in the Western Cape, where the party’s support is at an all-time low.
Whatever the reason, Aunty Pat is op haar stukke and warns there’ll be no
corruption on her watch.
Surprising - but sort of expected - was the reduction of the the number of ministers from 36 to 28 after a number of departments were combined.
But who to choose?
TICKED MOST OF THE BOXES: President Cyril Ramaphosa
Well, Cyril said he had been looking for “experience, continuity, competence, generational mix and demographic and regional diversity”.
We all know there’s other behind the scenes criteria, like appeasing the different factions in the ANC, the
alliance partners and big business.
And, to a lesser extent it seems, whether the honourable members have any corruption or state capture clouds hanging over them.
The appointment of David Mabuza as deputy president was controversial; he’d been sitting in the party’s ethics committee in the days leading up to the announcement.
Not a good look for a No.2, is it?
There was doubt over whether Pravin Gordhan would hold onto his Minister of Public Enterprises job.
He’s currently fighting a guilty ruling by Public Protector Busisiwe Mkhwebane for improper conduct over his 2010 approval of former SARS boss Ivan Pillay’s early retirement and payout.
But hey, if Jacob Zuma could live comfortably with 783 corruption charges during his tenure, surely the ANC could turn a blind eye to Gordhan this one time?
Former Minister for Women, Bathabile Dlamini was not so lucky - thank goodness - nor was Environmental Affairs minister Nomvula Mokonyane.
In other interesting appointments, Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma was named Minister of Cooperative Governance and Traditional Affairs. That ought to keep the Zuma camp sweet.
Minister Fear F*k** , Fikile Mbalula, makes a comeback in the Transport Department. We can expect lots of charisma and energy from him, let’s hope the wheels don’t come off.
Naledi Pandor will head up the International Relations ministry (can’t go wrong with her), replacing Lindiwe Sisulu, who takes over Human Settlements, Water and Sanitation.
Former health minister Aaron Motsoaledi will now run Home Affairs.
SURVIVOR: Pravin Gordhan
The rest of the Cabinet looks relatively unchanged, with Tito Mboweni still in charge of Finance.
So it looks like Cyril has ticked most of his boxes in terms of the composition of his cabinet.
But is this the team who will deliver on his promise to “accelerate inclusive economic growth, act with greater urgency to tackle poverty, improve government services, fight corruption and end state capture”?
Time will tell.
A tired, defeated-looking Mmusi Maimane didn’t think so.
Speaking after the announcement, the DA leader - who sounded like Robbie Fleck after the Stormers’ Australasian tour - said it was just different faces reading from the same ANC script.
The EFF were more animated, calling the appointments a “declaration of war”.
“The cabinet remains a bloated bunch of people, which is a clear disregard of the public purse in favour of satisfying the factional demands of the ANC,” the red berets said.
Well, there you have it. Like them or not, these are our ministers for the next term.
Munier would like to wish all of you well, we’re counting on you.