“If you can’t say anything nice, then keep quiet.”
This was one of the mottos that my mother used to live by.
It was her view that you could angrily shoot your mouth off about something or someone, highlighting all the negatives, or you could say nothing.
Saying nothing harms nobody, whereas talking badly about someone, harms their reputation, and also calls your own integrity into question.
She was especially set on this when it came to people who had passed on, which is another version of the saying: “Don’t speak ill of the dead.”
This doesn’t mean that one isn’t sometimes tempted to trash-talk terrible people who have died. But my mother’s view was that even terrible people are mourned by their loved ones.
And they are the ones that are most harmed by your words, not the person who is now dead.
If you want to speak your mind about someone whose actions you despise, then tell them to their faces, while they are still alive.
All of this came to mind last week, when I read what EFF leader Julius Malema had to say about the funeral service of former minister Pravin Gordhan.
There are many other politicians who did not see eye-to-eye with Gordhan while he was alive.
They all followed my mother’s advice; in other words, they did the honourable thing and kept their mouths shut about Gordhan, while the family’s grief was still raw.
But not Malema.
He chose to mock the Gordhan family by comparing the attendance at their funeral service to the thousands who attended ANC stalwart Winnie Madikizela-Mandela’s funeral in 2018.
He also posted a picture of a tent on his social media, implying that it would have been a more suitable venue, instead of Durban’s International Convention Centre.
It is so ugly and says more about Malema than it does about Gordhan.
It is also clear that he didn’t merely see Gordhan as a political rival with differing views, but rather as an enemy to be actively and openly hated on.
Naturally, the question is why? Why expose your own integrity to public scrutiny over a man, who by most accounts, did a relatively admirable job as a public servant?
At this point it must be pointed out that Pravin Gordhan was by all accounts a man of principle; a stickler for compliance and someone who was determined to fight corruption and the looting of government coffers, even by his ANC colleagues.
He was the head of SARS at the time when properties linked to Malema were auctioned off to settle Malema’s tax debt.
Gordhan was also instrumental in the cancellation of a multi-million Rand tender to On Point Engineering, a company linked to Malema.
There’s a widespread belief that these are the chief reasons why Malema had such a deep, visceral hatred for Gordhan.
Malema’s response, with its chronic lack of decency during a period of mourning, doesn’t help his pleas of innocence.
I keep coming back to the need for our leaders to possess unquestionable character and a value system that others will willingly emulate.
The EFF’s support base is mostly made up of youth who nurture feelings of disenfranchisement and injustice.
They need principled and moral leadership and guidance, more than any other group.
They need to be shown how to channel their frustrations with the political status quo in ways that invite admiration and support.
One way to do that is if you don’t have anything nice to say, then dignified silence is also an option.
Daily Voice