I didn't want to write about this any longer because I thought I had said everything that could be said.
But that’s until I engaged someone on Facebook recently and realised the level of hate that continues to be directed at Miché Solomon, aka Zephany Nurse.
It’s clear to me that there’s still a lot of education that needs to happen, because there genuinely is a complete and total misunderstanding of what has informed her state of mind.
I genuinely feel that I have a duty to help people see some logic, so I thought I would share some of my Facebook messages with you today.
In response to her being “a selfish, ungrateful, spoilt brat”, who should show more love towards her biological family and heal privately, I said:
“We need to appreciate the nature of this type of trauma. It is virtually unprecedented, and yet we all seem to know best. While there are many unknowns, there is obviously lots of subconscious resentment for destroying what was her normal. I don’t see what she is doing as seeking attention. I see it as looking for healing. Her tragic history was so public, that part of the healing has to be public. She is also a God-fearing person and speaks fondly of her religion and trust in the Almighty. But, of course, other Christians will say her Christianity is wrong, or that her faith isn’t strong, or something to that effect. The fact is, she and they are acting according to their faith the same God, but different instructions. Both saying the other is wrong.”
Most people argue that the Nurses are the victims. Here was my response: “I agree that they were originally, yes, when Zephany was a baby. Time has passed, though, and I now see this as Miché’s story to tell. In whichever way she needs to tell it. Whatever I say about Miché, has no bearing on the profound sadness and sympathy I feel for Celeste especially. But the story I’m telling is a parallel one a different truth that shouldn’t take away from the other truths. I do, however, get how that is a difficult concept for people, especially when maternal emotions are involved. Wisdom to me is a moving target that we should always renew. After all, we are nothing more than the sum of our experiences. Every new experience adds a new understanding and perspective.”
My final comment on the matter tried to sum it all up:
“None of us have been in this situation. It is unique worldwide. We can speculate and project, but we can’t know with absolute certainty. And that’s why I listen to Miché. Not because she is right, but because she has to navigate this on her own. I understand that the world aches for Celeste. I do, too. She has suffered a great injustice and nothing can repair that. Ever! But there are new dynamics at play now. It’s not a baby with no life experiences we are talking about.
“We can’t expect adult Zephany to fill that void and be someone we want her to be; to heal Celeste’s wounds and make ourselves feel better with a Hollywood ending, where Celeste gets her adoring baby back. Yes, in an ideal world, Zephany would’ve instantly loved the Nurses and scorned the woman who took her. That is not happening. She is still going to have to deal with a massive public blow-back when Lavona is released from prison. Zephany and her “dad” Micheal love that woman, whatever we may feel. And they can’t wait to hold and hug and love her again. Right or wrong, those are the facts. And when that happens, Zephany is going to have to deal with a mountain of criticism again. I also suspect that the world doesn’t know what to do with such a strong, outspoken young woman who for better or worse is beating her own path.”