Vain Ronaldo is a real fake



June 21, 2016
Vain Ronaldo is a real fake

Cristiano "No worries, no morals" Ronaldo. CREDIT: Getty

The so-called demigod showed his true colours with a stinky outburst against the Iceland team last week.

I was really disappointed with Ronaldo following Portugal’s draw with Iceland.

A couple of years ago, much to my astonishment, I learnt that the vain No.7 was a really progressive guy, supporter of the Palestinian movement and donator of money to various related kids charities.

I should have known better.

How could this self-centred demigod have such a good heart while spending hours in front of the mirror, plucking rogue hairs and tightening up his perfect torso.

He showed his true colours with a stinky outburst against the Iceland team last week, labelling them “small-minded”, further criticising their style of football.

What a w***er, here’s a nation of 350 000 people – around half the size of the Portuguese capital Lisbon – with an estimated 1 in 10 of them attending the Euros to cheer on their largely part-time squad.

What was he expecting? A full-on even contest?

Anyway, for those of you who believe in karma, he really took it up the exit hole, when his star-studded side couldn’t get past Austria on Saturday, missing a late penalty in the process!

That’ll teach him.

More so than that, I also realised that his – tax deductible – donations to Palestinians weren’t so genuine, I mean how can you be in support of an oppressed people while moonlighting as the poster boy for a huge Israeli company.

Yep, at the beginning of this year he fronted a Tel Aviv based Cable outfit called Hot and probably pocketed a cool few million dollars in the process.

Where’s ya morals, you fake?

Back to the field and there’s been some great football at the Euros.

What’s adding to the spectacle is that players are concentrating on the game itself rather than the play acting, gesticulating for cards and diving.

I’m sure they were all briefed pre-tournament that refs have been instructed to be hard on cheating.

The other thought that keeps crossing my mind is, could we be witnessing something similar to last season’s Premier League?

You know, not necessarily going to go to one of the favourites?

There have been a few surprise results and the gap between the superpowers and minnows doesn’t seem that huge.

No one’s been really stand-out so far and I’m sure there’s gonna be a few big shockers as we move towards the knockout stage.

One of the few negatives about having this great tournament off-season is that the transfer market has been pretty flat.

It was interesting to read comments from Leicester vice-chairman Aiyawatt Srivaddhanaprabha – just call him Aiya – stating last week that he expects Jamie Vardy to remain with the club, with follow-up remarks from Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger saying he “expects Vardy to stay at Leicester”.

You see, nothing’s done until an official announcement is made.

Hopefully the Gunners will stick with Olivier Giroud!

He’s about as dangerous in the air as a vegetarian’s fart.

Staying on the gossip front, well, even I’ll stick my balls on the block to say that Zlatan Ibrahimovic will definitely be joining Manchester United.

It’s got to be the worst-kept secret in football right now.

He’s proper quality and will be a great signing for Jose Mourinho.

Talking about proper quality, or the lack of it, I’m having nightmares regarding the rumours surrounding Christian Benteke being on Chelsea’s wishlist.

Surely that can’t be true? Please lord, keep him away.

He’s just another Heskey, as is Romelu Lukaku, not the real deal…

Spain’s Juventus striker Alvaro Morata on the other hand is getting a wild pulse beating in my underpants. Well, four games tonight and four games tomorrow, before the round of 16 kicks off on Saturday afternoon!

Don’t forget to give the Mrs a kiss somewhere in between!

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