Do Coloured people enjoy complaining about everything that’s wrong with them?
It’s like a competition out there! Whose blood pressure is higher and whose gout is more temperamental!
It seems to me that Cape Town’s aunties have always tried to outdo one another with the amount of pille they take.
And it has always astonished me how they are able to remember those difficult pharmaceutical tablet names from the top of their heads; names with so many syllables, you need to take a deep breath before attempting to say them out loud.
I found myself at a local clinic again recently and while waiting, I couldn’t help listening to four aunties discussing their ailments. They were doing it so loudly that you didn’t even need to try to eavesdrop.
I swear it felt like they were trying to upstage one another with the severity of their conditions.
If the one said she had pneumonia, the other one sommer had double pneumonia. And I’m pretty sure the next aunty would have triple pneumonia, just to upstage the other two.
The one lady was explaining how she has sugar, high blood pressure AND high cholesterol.
She was able to recite the names of every one of the tablets she takes, including the ones that she has to take for the side-effects.
Her friend also suffered from hyper tension, arthritis and sugar, so of course they started comparing their different sugar meds.
The one complained bitterly about the fact that she doesn’t like the new generic tablets she was given.
One of the quieter aunties agreed, but complained that the clinic pharmacy wasn’t very helpful at all.
And then the conversation turned to which of the clinic staff was most incompetent and which of the new doctors was best.
Again I got the sense that the ritual of visiting the clinic once a month, was something the ladies enjoyed.
I understand that they are nursing serious illnesses and they require life-saving medication; I also know that ageing – the days of pille and brille– can be cruel, and that some ailments are unavoidable.
But instead of bragging about how many tablets they take, perhaps some aunties should realise that many of their kwale are simply lifestyle diseases that can be managed differently.
How about bragging about that lovely walk you took. Or how you started jogging and drinking more water.
How about telling each other stories about how challenging, but rewarding it is since you’ve banned sugar from your home.
I know from experience how some diabetic aunties refuse to walk anywhere, but just can’t swallow their coffee if it doesn’t have at least four sugars in it.
I have also seen uncles who have to have that morning cigarette, while coughing their lungs out with emphysema. They are often first in line at the local clinic to have their meds reissued.
Now I know that Coloured people are essentially lazy and won’t run unless they are being chased by a dog or the police, but it’s about time we stop being so irresponsible with our health.
We love meals that include rice and potatoes and will often squash it all together to make a white bread sandwich to have as a late night snack. Even I used to do it as a kid!
There’s nothing tastier than a snackwich made from left over carbs. But our bodies can only handle that kind of poisonous eating in our youth.
There comes a time when water, salad, fish and long brisk walks are in our best interest.
To me that is a whole lot more appealing than taking 20 or 30 different tablets a day.
And then spending an entire day at a clinic, so I can do it all over again next month.