Q
Hi auntie, I have a problem in my relationship. We used to be so in love and everyone used to like us as a couple. But things have now changed so quickly from a good time to bad.
I don’t know whether it is because my boyfriend is fasting or what, but things are so bad that we are not even having sex anymore.
It all changed in just a few weeks. I feel ready to pack up and go.
Pearl, the worst part is that I try to talk to him, but he then gets angry and tells me he has a lot of things on his mind.
I don’t know what to think anymore; it is driving me crazy.
A
Shame hartjie, Auntie can sommer hear how heartbroken you are.
Eish, this is a difficult one. You say your berk is fasting, but Auntie assumes he is done now, Ramadaan is mos nou verby. Who knows, maybe it was just him being omgekrap because he was a bietjie honger.
If this was the case, Auntie hopes that you didn’t give him grief. You should be supporting him in his religion and during important times such as Ramadaan.
But let’s assume it’s not the fasting. This means your relationship is in real trouble.
If your boyfriend has so much on his mind, why is he not sharing with you?
You say you try and talk to him about it, but that he just shuns you.
This is not a good sign. It means there are things that he is hiding from you.
In a healthy relationship you must share dinge, especially your troubles and fears.
Have you tried to calmly sit with him and talk about your problems, or are you also guilty of the rift between you two?
Don’t start the conversation by getting all opgewerk and accusing him of being a rubbish berk. You have to stay calm and talk to him like an adult.
Honey, all relationships go through rough patches.
It is the couples who work through the tough times together who live happily ever after.
As for the sex, forget about the physical until you sort out the emotional.