Q Good day my liewe Auntie Pearl.
Jirre Auntie, I’m writing to you with a sore heart because almal dink mos ek is mal.
I dated a guy and he stayed in Joburg, but he is actually vannie Kaap.
I sommer went to visit him in Joburg, because when we started dating he was already living in Joburg. After my visit I was pregnant.
He told me he is not going to argue, but that he just wants to see this child before he will say it is his child.
Auntie, this is where the problem started.
My bek is nie goed nie, and during the pregnancy I was sad and told people he flat out denied the laaitie is his. I know it was wrong.
Maar die kind het toe gekom, en hy vat toe responsibility.
But he also told me he no longer wants to be in a relationship with me, because he feels nothing for me.
He told me it would be unfair as hy die heeltyd vir my lieg.
I did not understand that, and even now I still don’t verstaan.
That is why I have been doing my best to make his life hell. I sommer insulted his parents and I insult him everywhere I go.
He is supporting the child the whole time, but then I still went and asked him for more money, even though I know he has two other kids.
My Auntie, ek wil net sy lewe hel maak!
Now he has a new girlfriend and she lives in the same area as me.
He moved from Joburg to the Kaap, because I told the mense that he ran away from the baby.
Auntie, I try everything in me to make his life hell, ek is selfs in met sy family, whom he does not worry with… I tell them about all his k**.
Ek maak hom swak orals waar ek kan.
What does Auntie think, is ek besig om van my kop af te raak, or is it normal?
From WF.
Papgeld
A Good grief, but this is a morsige situation!
Long-distance relationships, pregnancy, skinner, papgeld, break-ups, you name it!
Where to start?
You ask Auntie if she thinks you are mal… the answer is no. But I also don’t think the way you are acting is right.
Shame, girl, Auntie can understand how stressful these past couple of months have been.
You got knocked up by a berk who is a thousand miles away, then you get dumped and now have to raise the laaitie on your own.
It’s enough to make any woman act a little crazy.
Maar kyk hier, you can’t go about dissing this guy, making him swak wherever you go.
From what you are telling Auntie, he is supporting his child.
Obviously it’s terrible that things between the two of you didn’t work out, and you can hold it against him as long as you like, maar moetie julle vuil laundry in die publiek uitwas nie!
This is a private situation between you and your baby daddy, there’s no need to “make his life hell” just because you got your heart broken.
And it’s especially swak style of you to go about spreading lies about this man.
It sounds like he is taking responsibility for his action by paying papgeld, and unfortunately that’s as much as you can hope for.
At least you know for sure that things are over between you.
Did you really want to raise a child in a loveless relationship? No, girl, that would definitely not have been the best thing for your child or yourself.
What you need to do is focus on your laaitie, on providing him or her with the best life you can. A mommy filled with hate, who skels about daddy all the time, and is full of resentment, spreading lies… that’s not the example you want to set for your little one.
So Auntie’s advice is: get over it!
Leave him and his family alone, just take the papgeld and raise your child.
If he wants to be part of his laaitie’s life, you have to find a civil way to allow him to do so.
This is one of those times you have to hou jou bek, en don't rek 'it!